Tag: home birth

A Conversation with a 10 Year Old Girl…

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conversation blog post

I had the pleasure of visiting with my best friend since high school over the Thanksgiving Holiday. She decided to fly in to Virginia from California with her oldest daughter. Her main goal was to visit with her mother and father, and show support.

As we chatted and reminisced about PG-rated memories, you end up learning so much about yourself and things you “shoulda, coulda, woulda” grasped sooner. That is the essence of living… learning from your past!

Here are some of the nuggets of “wisdom” that I didn’t even know that I had, but so glad I figured them out during a conversation with a 5th grader.

1. Like who you are. This statement is so much easier said than done. So much of it comes with age and maturity, but wouldn’t it be nice if we could instill this into our kids daily. It has taken me a few decades to just like myself. This is a deep down like, not just the surface. You need to learn to like your strengths and weaknesses. These are the ingredients that make you unique and draw other people to you. Do yourself a huge favor and “just like yourself.” Stop the internal struggle and stop finding that acceptance from the outside. No one will like you more than you like yourself. Let’s all teach our kids this, so they can jump forward into life and living with self-confidence and self-love.

2. Find friends that are just a little bit different than you and bring out the best in you. None of my friends are just like me. That would be b-o-r-i-n-g! I like to have a few things in common with my friends because that is how the initial attraction draws two people together. Other than that… let’s mash things up! Let’s all be different and unique. This is how we lift each other up and love each other more deeply. I love that I have friends that are super outgoing, great photographers, incredibly fit, meditate, artistic, down to earth, and flashy. We have fun when we are together and can appreciate each other’s talents. We often find ourselves learning new things because of these differences.

3. Love your job. I thought I loved being a middle school teacher. That was my first “real” adult job. And, I did love the kids, learning with them, sharing US History with them, the camaraderie with the other teachers… But, I did not love the grading tests and papers! Blah! It took me having my own children and using a home birth midwife to find my true calling. Yep! I made the leap from History Teacher to Home Birth Midwife!!! And guess what? I super duper LOVE my job. It doesn’t even feel like a job. It is a calling. The people around you will know whether or not you love your job! You can’t help but bring that happiness into your everyday life. It is called passion. Passion is a must for loving you job. I recently added another job to my everyday life. I am a Lemon Dropper! A Lemon Dropper is a Young Living Essential Oil Independent Distributor. I sell essential oils! And, I LOVE it!!! Midwifery and Essential Oils (especially the Lemon Droppers) have changed my life in so many ways. They are all positive and ignited passion in my heart and in my purpose.

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4. Don’t be afraid to be smart. I have been told that I am smart since I was a young kid. My mom made sure that we all were told this… You are smart! I know for a fact that because my mom told me this over and over as a child that I believed I was SMART. Since I believed it, I made it happen. I love learning. I love reading. I, even, like tests! I know weird, right? I have actually had people in my life disconnect from me because I was too smart. What? Their loss. I have never, ever understood why you wouldn’t want to be around smart people. They make you stretch your own mind, your view of situations and problems, and they become an incredible resource for knowledge. My mentor midwife is a genius! I love being around her and learning from her. It seriously makes my mind boggle when she pulls information from an experience years ago or something she has read. My husband is also smart. He knows so much about the human body, movies, cars, and other random guy things. I want to be around smart people! So, don’t be afraid to be smart. Don’t be afraid to talk intelligently. Don’t be afraid to be a resource for those around you. Smart is cool. Smart is useful. Be sure to tell those people around you and your kids that they are SMART.

5. Stay connected with your friends. Friends are the spice of life! Find those friends that make you a better person and make the effort to stay connected. Listen to them. Find out about their families, their relationships, their passions. Encourage open conversations. Support their decisions. Support their passions.

If you do all of the above, you will do Epic Shit! And you just might find yourself turning into a Unicorn!

The Best Compliment Evah!

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So, this one time at a birth…

Home birth gives you bunches of good stories. And, yes, we can find connections to these very vivid stories to the mundane life events. And, yes, we will dramatically reenact these stories anytime and anywhere.

I have one of those stories.

As the senior apprentice in our practice, I go to ALL of the births. It also means that I am actively catching babies and filling out tons of confusing paperwork (this paperwork comes from the NARM Portfolio Evaluation Progress). Catching babies definitely trumps the paperwork part. Catching babies is one of the most incredible things in the world. Gives me goosebumps every time. I also get the opportunity to meet, bond, and establish meaningful relationships with our clients.

All of our clients are great at expressing their appreciation for home birth and midwifery. Some are down right HI-lari-ous!

So, onto the story….

This one time at a birth. In a galaxy far, far away… well, actually just in a neighboring city, but I love that opening and am a huge geek.

This birth was lovely. The family was awesome (And just for clarification, they all are cause they choose us to give birth with at home). The mother trusted birth. She trusted her body. She felt loved and comforted by her husband and mother. And, she entrusted us with her care. She felt safe.

She worked hard during her labor. Even though this was her third baby, the baby’s position remained posterior throughout labor and birth. Posterior births are usually long; lots of prodromal labor. I have attended many posterior births, but this was my first posterior catch. This was a super cool experience, but not even the best part of this story.

The best part of the story was the next day. Postpartum visits are some of my favorites. You get to witness this new family in the glow of oxytocin. It just doesn’t get old. You can’t help but feed off the oxytocin and glow of home birth. And this mom was glowing more than any other mom! She was radiant and exuberantly complimenting her midwives. Her feedback to me, her compliments, and her joy made me feel like a “real” midwife. All this hardwork over the past four years felt vindicated by her simple words…

someecards.com - I would totally give you a card that said,

Yep. She said this to me. And, yep, as an apprentice, I took this as the epitome of compliments. 

I am still smiling thinking about this birth. 

31 Days of Beach Living: Day 9 Slow it Down

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31days day 9

Every now and then, several things happen to me in a row. More than just the rule of 3’s. Although, that rule has visited me way too many times in 2013. That rule posited it’s authority with 1) slicing off the tip of my thumb with a mandolin as I began my “Primary Under Supervision” role as an apprentice midwife, 2) breaking my knuckle and the middle phalanx of my left ring finger during flag football, and 3) breaking my right big toe 8 days post broken finger while running and unsuccessfully trying to do parkour so as not to trip on a rock. You know things have gotten bad when your husband gives you that knowing look and asks you if you are paying attention. Another sign things have gone too far is being laid up for the better part of 6 weeks letting bones heal and having appointments with an orthopedist.

Lately, things have happened to me that make me wonder if I am going too fast. Every New Year I make that resolution to “slow down and smell the roses.” But, then school starts, sports start, I take on too many house projects, and all that smelling goes out the window. Before you know it the days feel like they are over and you never got to sit down.

Here are some tips on slowing it down and clues that you should be slowing it down:

1. Your six year old starts reading the speed limit signs and your speedometer. He then proceeds to use brilliant math abilities you didn’t realize had developed and tells you that you are in fact speeding. Take my advice slow down. It’s not worth the embarrassment of getting that speeding ticket. Not too mention, your kids will gladly spout to strangers and your husband that you speed and cops pull you over. Save yourself the embarrassment. Slow it down. I am making the very conscious decision to only drive the speed limit or 5 miles over.

2. You can’t possibly be your best when you are going through life toooooo fast!

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Do what you can do perfectly. Perfection comes with having the time to perfect. Slow it down. Be you, perfectly!

3. This one time at a birth… you don’t arrive in time to catch the baby. Yes, it happens with planned home births. Some women are just too dang efficient. And yes, I am jealous of that ability. I am the type of birth-er that likes her midwives to be there for several hours before popping them out. But really, when you are speeding to a birth and get stuck behind a cop on a two lane road. Just slow it down. The universe is giving you the clearest message — pass the cop get a ticket and probably one for reckless driving or slow down, breathe and you will get there when you get there. The safety of my being is important too. The birth will play out as it needs to. Getting into a car accident is harder to recover from than missing that “catch.” Slow it down.

4. Slow it down and take the time to read with your kids. I love, love, love to read. My kids struggle with it sometimes. But, when I slow my day down and sit with reading to me or reading to them, we all enjoy ourselves. Reading is also a great way to get your busy kids to slow down.

5. Slow down your commitment to others. Take the time to hang with your hubby. Take the time to have a slow leisurely lunch with your bestie(s). Quick, jam-packed days make life go by too quickly. So, slow it down and spend life with those that make you a better person.

P.S. Sorry this post is a day late, but birth happens. I decided to spend the evening with my family instead of rushing through a blog post. I took my own advice and slowed it down.

31 Days Blog Challenge

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Follow along as I “attempt” to write a new post for 31 days. Thanks to The Nesting Place and her encouragement for this Linky Blog Party.

Some of my upcoming topics are:

Day 1: Summer’s End

Day 2: Beach Glass

Day 3: Football and Boys

Day 4: Saving One Rack at a Time – Barbells for Boobs

Day 5: Turquoise

and many more to come….Stay Tuned

Visit other 31 Day Challengers

Click here to access all the bloggers participating in the 31 Day Challenge.

Click here to access all the bloggers participating in the 31 Day Challenge.

Co-Parenting: Does it really take a village?

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Just got the picture of Brandy and I… How can two people who spend so much time together, not have a recent picture?

The XFit Midwife

I get asked all the time. This one question.  Almost once a week.

‘HOW DO YOU DO IT?”

Let me first go back and explain how I roll… I’m a Type A, self-diagnosed selective OCD kinda gal. I like order, but I can definitely roll with chaos (which goes hand in hand with 3 boys). I like my fridge neat, the house tidy, constantly sweep the front porch and walkway thanks to annoying squirrels, but could really care less that I have a pile of laundry <that my husband folded for me> on top of my jewelry box for the past two weeks. So, to organize some of the chaos, my husband and I created an iCalendar for each person in the family. See below for wonderful color-coding, organized chaos:

This keeps me sane most of the time. I didn’t even include another calendar for all of my midwifery appointments…

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Co-Parenting: Does it really take a village?

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I get asked all the time. This one question.  Almost once a week.

‘HOW DO YOU DO IT?”

Let me first go back and explain how I roll… I’m a Type A, self-diagnosed selective OCD kinda gal. I like order, but I can definitely roll with chaos (which goes hand in hand with 3 boys). I like my fridge neat, the house tidy, constantly sweep the front porch and walkway thanks to annoying squirrels, but could really care less that I have a pile of laundry <that my husband folded for me> on top of my jewelry box for the past two weeks. So, to organize some of the chaos, my husband and I created an iCalendar for each person in the family. See below for wonderful color-coding, organized chaos:

Color-coded bliss and sanity.

Color-coded bliss and sanity.

This keeps me sane most of the time. I didn’t even include another calendar for all of my midwifery appointments; that would be a HIPPA violation. So, yes, our life is busy and we like to keep it that way. Our boys enjoy sports, we enjoy work and CrossFit™, we like to have down time (but not too much), and we always live life “ON CALL.”

On Call is a special stressor that most people working in the health industry get to experience. I know there might be other occupations with on call, but I have yet to find one with more stress on a family than midwifery. It means that at any hour or day this schedule can be dropped like a hot potato. Nothing is in stone. I always preface any RSVP with “as long as I am not at a birth.” It means two cars to most events. It means my kids may not get to that party or sports practice. My husband recently told me that he just assumes that there is always a birth happening. He says its easier for him to adapt that way. And, I think he is sick of me repeating to him after 3 years that “I might have a birth tonight.” I might also be kinda over “on call” 24/7 since 2010.  Just kinda though because witnessing a birth makes me have temporary amnesia until the next time I’m on call.

So, have you ever heard of the village principle? Not quite the villages of a third world country village principle. But, not too far off either. I am lucky. I have family in town. I have a super involved mom who is loved by her grand boys.  She jumps in whenever she can after work and on weekends. I have a sister who takes my kids on a whim if she is home and not off teaching others on how to find yoga bliss.

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My sis, Jackie and I at a recent backyard cookout.

I also have two wonderful friends who I call my co-parents.

These are the ladies that I owe so much to everyday. We have each other’s backs. No questions asked. They are the ones I can call or text at anytime to get my boys. Once they have the boys, I know that they will be treated as family. Their names are Stacey, who is a talented family photographer, and Brandy, an amazing birth doula.

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Stacey and Brandy with two of my boys, their own kids, and a few extra just for fun.

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Stacey and I at a recent CrossFit Chronic event. You even get a glimpse of her camera strap.

 

 

Me and Brandy, doula extraodinaire!

Me and Brandy, doula extraodinaire!

So, the answer for me is “YES”. It does take a village to do it all or in my case at least 90%.

My hope is that every woman finds her village.

 

*Can you tell we spend a whole bunch of time at the box?